How to Save Money

. . . courtesy of VIZ magazine. I especially like the suggestion for "repurposing" old phone books.

1. Foil pick-pockets by placing a freshly toasted "pop tart" in each pocket. Would-be thieves will quickly rupture the fragile pastry and receive nasty finger burns from the steaming hot jam inside.

2. A length of plastic drainpipe with a roller skate at each end makes an ideal home-made "car" for snakes.

3. Stop bread from drying out by keeping it in a bucket of water.

4. Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

5. Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fully refreshed and on time.

6. Put a stop to car thieves by siphoning off all your gas whenever you park your car, and carrying it round with you in one or two plastic buckets.

7. Always keep a stick of butter in your pocket so that if you get your head stuck in railings you'll be able to grease your ears and slide out.

8. Old telephone directories make ideal, free personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

Find the full list at www.wisebread.com.